why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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