ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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