mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
