Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
