if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
