it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
