Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
