just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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