I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
