I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
