you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
