if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The feeling are messing with the penis
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
