Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you had me at cake vodka
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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