i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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