Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh god it's open bar.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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