Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
