o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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