Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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