If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
