Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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