i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Blood and glitter go together right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
