i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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