it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
