We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
