As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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