i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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