I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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