something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
