are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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