The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Randomize
