One girl and one boy is just not enough.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
why is half of my head shaved?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
