Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
