How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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