I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I will die if light touches me.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
