There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
