My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
