Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
