You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
