We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
