she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
