Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
