i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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