i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
