i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
