Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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