Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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