NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
