I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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