Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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