Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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