HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
not ubering you a puppy
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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