Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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