every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it was like having sex with a tree stump
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize