I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
